Sunday, January 26, 2014

Murder in the Microwave

Or: How I Would Rather Read Than Do Housework

I made a big batch of chili at the beginning of last week, and, as the days went by and leftovers were consumed, the microwave began to look...disturbing. Someone forgot to use a cover when reheating a serving of the tomato based chili, and then the next person figured there was no point, and so on. The splatters accumulated, streaking down the side walls, pooling on the rotating plate, dotting the ceiling. It looked like a horror show. I was alarmed, and I have a high tolerance for living with dirt.

I considered showing a "before" photo to go with this post. But who wants to see someone else's dirty microwave? So here is the "after" pic:
The I Hate to Clean method of cleaning the microwave
I give credit for the pristine state of the microwave to my mother-in-law's method. There is no elbow grease required, which makes cleaning the microwave probably my favorite chore. Total time is about 22 minutes. 20 of those minutes you can read your current book. "Leave me alone, I'm cleaning the microwave," will not be believed, yet it will be true.

  • Put two cups of water in a microwave safe dish. Add a slice of lemon. 
  • The next step will vary depending on your microwave -- you will want to keep an eye on things the first time around -- turn on the microwave for ten minutes on high. The water will boil and boil and boil. About a cup of water will become steam. 
  • After the ten minutes is up, resist the temptation to open the microwave. Let the steam stay in there for another ten minutes.
  • Now you can open the microwave. Carefully remove the water vessel (it will still be hot), and the rotating plate, if you have one. Use a rag to clean the sides, ceiling, and floor. Wipe down the plate, wash with soap and water if you like. Replace plate in microwave. 
  • Admire your work. Go back to your book. Pretend it was such a chore that you simply cannot do another one today.

The lemon slice is important here. It doesn't have to be a lemon. It could be a lime. It could be a toothpick. Something has to go in with there to to prevent the water from superheating and exploding. Really! DO NOT use this method with plain water. I did accidentally superheat water once, and I count myself very lucky that the explosion happened before I opened the microwave door. Lemon, however, makes the microwave smell nice.

PS You do not have to read a book during those twenty minutes. You could surf the web and watch cute cat videos, like this one, instead. Or meditate. Whatever you choose, relax! You're cleaning the microwave!